Approach Anxiety

''Approach anxiety'' is the biggest hurdle that you must overcome if you want to be successful with women. Logically, rejection causes us no harm. But emotionally, rejection can be a punishing experience.

An interesting angle to help you understand this innate anxiety that is ingrained in every male mind is to consider the ancient environment for which we were designed.

In a tribal group, there will be some small number of available women of breeding age. When a man approaches one, he risks rejection, and if that happens, all the other women will know, which will diminish his value in their eyes - maybe to the point where none of the women will mate with him. This is called preselection - women look for social validation of their choices. A suitor who is preselected will be more attractive, whereas a man who has been rejected will be less so. Another factor regarding approach anxiety is the possibility that she may already be taken, in which case there is a component of real, physical danger to any male who approaches her.

For all these reasons and more, men are naturally selected to experience approach anxiety. Logically, of course, modern society fixes these problems. ''If I am rejected, I can simply go to another part of the bar, or leave the bar entirely. I will probably never see any of those people again. But my emotions don't know that. My emotions are trying to do what's best for me.''

Anxiety is a defence mechanism. It exists to protect you from abnormal behaviour and for this reason can not be completely abolished only circumvented. It may be the fear of talking to strangers. Fear of interrupting people. Fear of running out of things to say. Fear of looking dumb (social pressure) or even the fear of success.

Go Out Prepared

Learn canned material and field test routines available in our ebook until you develop your own intuition and skill. This will help you overcome the most common reason for not approaching a group of attractive women - not knowing what to say.

Use the 3 Second Rule

The point of the 3 seconds rule is to propel you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state - a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women. Even if you can't think of any way to initiate a conversation with a woman at least just open with "Hi, you having a good night?"